Consolation?

I'm back in Malaysia for a short trip as I'm flying off to Jakarta for a meeting. My KPI is still sub-5% and I'm getting used to it. Getting better in giving reasons and I feel less stressed when questioned.

As I write this, I realized that the situation is changing me. I'm no longer eager to push for results. May be I should be thinking how to solve it rather than giving more reasons.

Why the motivation now? It's because I saw my payslip yesterday. I flew out on April the last time around so I didn't get to see my Apr, May, June and July payslip.

My company pays 2 bonus each year:-
1) Fixed 13th month salary (bonus) in Dec and;
2) In early Q2, performance bonus will be given

This year's performance bonus came a bit late and it only arrived on June. Before I saw the payslip, I've only managed to have a look at how much came into my bank account. I was ok with it because rough calculation I managed to get around 4 mths of bonus.

After I saw the payslip, I thought may be all my hardwork is worthwhile. My performance bonus is 6.5mths (based on last years salary) or 5.5mths (based on this year's salary).

With the 1 month bonus at year end, then my bonus would be 7.5mths. I'm prepared to receive a meager bonus next year becuase of my sub-5% KPI achievement.

Why the stark difference in calculating based on take home pay and actual amount (4mths vs 6.5mths)? It's because Bolehland gov took MYR5,481.20 of tax money from me! EPF is big as well but at least I get to pocket it.